Church Shopping

Week after week I watch people come on our campus searching for a church home. I'm not speaking of "church hoppers," (locals who leave a church every time they have a disagreement...) rather, those who are new to our area. I might suggest; 


1. Attend at least three services in a row.


It's disappointing when a guest leaves before the service is over. Besides poor etiquette, it usually means that we are too edgy, the music is too loud or there's way too much foolishness to be holy. I want to stop them and say, "please wait!" I know if they will wait long enough to hear God's Word in the message they will get a truer picture of Colonial. The point is, if you don't stick around to find out what the church is REALLY like you can't make a good decision. For our church, I think you need to come at least three weeks in a row to get a sense of who we are. If you attend any church for three weeks in a row and you never learn anything about there vision, that should be red flag. 


2. Visit with one of our leaders. 


Meeting the pastor is a great idea, but that’s not always practical in large churches. But you can meet with a staff member or one of the volunteer leaders of the church. Ask at Guest Services if someone is available next week - maybe come early for 20 minutes and offer to meet them in The Mac. Find out about the history of the church, the heartbeat of the pastor, the vision and what they love most about their church. You are not trying to find out some dirt, no church is perfect, and if you look for something broken you’ll find it. Focus more on getting to know who you are talking to and learn what you can about the strengths of the church. After all, that’s what you will connect with and help build, the strengths, not the weaknesses. If it’s a smaller church and you do meet with the pastor, keep it to 20 minutes and ask how you can help serve.

3. Find out if your kids enjoyed their experience.

Even if you don’t have children, ask for a tour of our children and student facility anyway. If you have children, you can see first hand why your kids want to go back. The children’s ministry reveals a lot about a church. Even of it's a start-up church with little resources, you will be able to tell if they have a passion for the children. Just observe how the volunteers treat the kids and parents. See if the children’s ministry is organized. It will be obvious if it’s creative and fun or boring. That will tell you how they feel about families and the next generation. 

4. Ask if they have ministry "outside the walls" of the church.

How do they serve their community? Feeding the poor, ministering to the homeless... reaching out to other parts of the city that are neglected. That will give you insight about how visionary the church is. This is a good way for you to discover the values of the church. When you discover what is important, you will quickly understand the DNA and culture of the church.

Culture of Honor

Published by permission from Tony Morgan / tonymorganlive.com

At the risk of not showing honor to peers in ministry, I want to tackle the topic of honor today. I’m concerned. I see a trend in churches that I think is unhealthy. Honestly, I believe it’s also unbiblical.

There are a number of churches today that are trying to teach a culture of honor. The concept of honor is biblical. In fact, Romans 12:10 tells us to:

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (ESV)

We should show honor to our leaders, but God designed it to go both directions. If it’s one-way, it’s unhealthy and unbiblical.

Let me explain further how God designed honor to work in church leadership. First of all, we are supposed to submit to our leaders. Hebrews 13:17 says:

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

One of the ways we show honor to our leaders is by submitting to their authority. At the same time, though, leaders are instructed to show honor by serving those they lead:

“But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’”

That’s the servant leadership that seems to be missing when the “culture of honor” is carried out to the extreme. Servant leadership only goes one direction. When that happens, honor only goes one direction.

Honor is supposed to go both ways. That’s not what I’m seeing in churches today. Some churches are trying to create a culture where all the underlings are supposed to honor their senior pastor by serving his every need, by guarding him from the congregation and by always saying “yes sir” to every request among other things. Being armor-bearers to each other is one thing, when it creeps into making the pastor the “king” it’s a completely different deal.

My fear is that this “culture of honor” trend plays right into the sin of pride. Unchecked, pastors can quickly get to a very unhealthy place for themselves, their ministry and their marriages. God did not design the pastor to be the rock star. God charged pastors to equip God’s people to do the work of God. When an unhealthy “culture of honor” is promoted, God’s people wait for “God’s man” to do the work of God. That may work for someone who only intends to be a preacher, but it doesn’t work if you are trying to be a pastor.

Here’s some wisdom that may help you begin taking steps in the right direction:

“The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” (Proverbs 15:33, ESV)

If you want to receive honor, you have to give honor. If you want to experience honor, you have to embrace humility. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Rather than expecting your church to show you honor, maybe your focus should be on serving your church.

I’m thankful for leaders in my life who have modeled a healthy approach to servant leadership. I’m learning daily what it means to be a servant leader.

Compared to What?

I had a great conversation with a good pastor friend and because both of us have passed the 30 year mark in ministry, we felt somewhat qualified to do some comparisons to the way we served in our 20's and today in our 50's. While we talked about all the changes our ministry and churches have experienced, we kept returning to a paradigm that has sadly remained constant. Churches that are unwilling (or pastor's refusal) to fly above the fray for the sake of doing Kingdom work in our cities. We stay preoccupied with...

How I look on TV compared to them.
How much more effective my style of preaching is than theirs.
How shoddy their facility looks against our pristine palace.
How much our worship experiences are compared to theirs.

It's blatantly obvious that jealousy, competition and insecurity occupy most of those lists but there is something deeper and far more grave.If our mission is truly to reach other people for Christ, other churches aren't our competitors. As a matter of fact, (though I am often guilty) even great ministries and churches aren't our standards of comparison.

Truth is, none of the people we are trying to reach go to those churches. When a person, who doesn't do church, comes to Colonial, I KNOW their first thought isn’t, “Wow! This place is way better than Dr. Fluberus Flufflhead's church!” They haven’t been! They aren't shopping churches!

I had the joy of joining part of our student ministry that does outreach serving on the east side of our city - you know the places we don't "wander" into after dark? I watched and listened as children of all colors and ages poured through the doors of the local Boys and Girl's club to sing and listen to the gospel presented. I watched groups of them walking around the neighborhood (at night) knocking on doors, sharing gifts and inviting them to church.

See, we DO have something that is incomparable and unbeatable and it's not the other churches in town, it's Jesus Christ. We do face the challenge of communicating Jesus through certain any and all mediums.

Some call me shallow...okay, true dat. But if that’s where people are, we have to meet them there or we might meet them nowhere.

I’d rather be viewed as shallow and be surrounded by people who have found a new life in Christ than be considered deep and be alone. Or to look on faces every week of people who knew Jesus long before they ever knew me. Lost people can’t become deep Christians until they first become Christians period.

The Art of Leading

Leadership isn’t paint by numbers, at some point you have to choose your own colors.

During the past month I have applied some weak skills to painting some murals for a wing in our children's building. The great thing was, if I didn't mix the right colors, didn't get the right proportions of a figure, I could paint over it and begin again. That's the way I lead.

Most of us didn't begin our ministry life as leaders. Somewhere, at some point, we were coached and guided by someone God placed in our path who was more skilled with a leadership paint brush. You know the ones, they showed us how to mix the colors, how to choose the right brush, when and how much pressure to apply. But there comes a time to choose your own palette of colors and the brush that best fits your hand. You take a risk, you smear the canvas. Although the end product might not be what you thought or even wanted, it's the way you learn.

Leadership is never a certain set of numbers and pre-drawn lines. In fact, leadership is far more art than science. You might be leading a small group,company or an entire church. What is your vision for that canvass? If you don't have a clue or vision, don’t start painting!You will just make a mess that someone else has to clean up.  

That's why I love leadership. It is artwork, and the brushstrokes of your efforts, for good or not so hot, will be out there for all to see. If your first effort doesn’t turn out so well, paint another. Not every painting is a masterpiece. It’s more like a collection of works that over time reveals the artist’s developing skill.  The value of some paintings are not realized until years later.

If you're leading, keep mixing the colors, keep the picture clearly in mind, and on occasion, paint outside the lines.

Church Etiquette

I've been attending church for a lot of years. Long enough to remember a coat and tie, well polished shoes, sitting and listening. No potty breaks, no talking and no leaving the service early. It was old school but church was more than just a weekly activity, it was part of our life and how you did what you did was as important as doing what you did. Some things in church life needed to change but some did not. I personally believe in staying relevant to reach as many people for Christ as possible - I try to stay open to the ideas and suggestions of my team not to stagnate and hold on to things that we may do well but have lost their effectiveness. I fear that in our casual church environments, we may have lost a sense of Church Etiquette. Here's my list of some things we need to hang on to.

1. Put your clock and calendar on hold on Sunday. Don't hold God to the clock. Unless there's an emergency, you should never leave a service early. We rush around all week long, let's rest in the Lord on Sunday.

2. GIve yourself time. Before you go to bed on Saturday night, plan to leave on time on Sunday morning. Don't start a day meant to be focused on Him, by a mad rush of berating your children and breaking the speed limit.

3. Unless you're a doctor or pilot, leave your cell phone in the car. Nobody is that stinking important. Take a break and bring in a paper Bible; actually turn the pages.

4. Be on time. Being punctual is just being considerate of someone else's schedule. At Colonial, we start on time and when people drag in for the next 10 minutes, it creates a distraction. Worship involves learning but it also involves all of the life of the body of Christ. The emotional experience of singing and worship is as vital to us as the intellectual experience of learning and the volitional experience of obeying. Be in your seat when the service begins.

5. Be respectful of others if you have a crying child. A continual whining child becomes a constant distraction for others and frustration for the teacher who is grasping to keep everyone's attention. We have tons of dedicated spaces with TV's and live feed of the service.

6. Once you are in the worship center and the service begins, stop talking; especially if you sit in the back or balcony. In a room as large as ours you may think that you are not being heard but those who sit around you, hear you and are distracted.

7. If you should come in late, sit in the back - don't come to the front. All eyes will leave their Bibles or the speaker and be focused on you.

8. Don't "fiddle" with the wrappers of candy or gum. This drives people around to the brink of violence with the never-ending crinkling of cellophane. Put it in your mouth before the service begins. If you need a lozenge, at least be quick.

9. If you're battling a cough, don't continue to "hack." Step out to one of TV venues.

10. Don't, don't, don't CLIP YOUR FINGERNAILS.
11. If you insist in bringing a child to the adult service, they must behave. The purpose of bringing children into an adult environment, is to train them in adult ways. Playing a computer game defeats the purpose as well as being disrespectful. It also teaches a child to be irreverent. Our children's environments are the greatest in the city if not the entire region.Use them.

12. Respect the building.Would you spit your partially chewed mints on the carpets of the White House? If you see a piece of trash, pick it up. When you use the restrooms, wipe down the counters and mirrors. Habits build character.




As God said through Malachi concerning Israel's flawed sacrifices, "why not offer it to your governor?" Would he be pleased? God is to be honored above all others with reverence. our gathering is to be as such.

Making A Dent

"We're here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?" ~ Steve Jobs

I've been devouring every article on the life of Steve Jobs his passion for life and making a difference. Of course my only point of reference is from a ministry view; a christian perspective. I couldn't help but filter what I've watched and read about him through, "Am I that passionate? Do I have that sort of focus and commitment?" 


Steve was the keynote speaker at the Worldwide Developer's Conference four months before his death.  As one writer put it, " I saw him up close and was struck by the fact that while wearing his signature black shirt, Levis, his New Balance shoes were old and covered in grass stains. I thought, why wear this grass-stained shoes for a keynote address, a rare and immeasurably high profile public appearance? Either he didn't notice or didn't care. One of Job's greatest gifts was he knew what to care about. He knew how to focus and prioritize his time and attention. Grass stains on his sneakers didn't make the cut.


Without a doubt Steve Jobs "made a dent" in the universe but did his mission and passion impact anyone's eternity? Certainly an impact and a huge one, but a person's eternity? That would be a stretch. 


In retrospect, aren't we here to put a dent in the universe? Shouldn't we know what to care about intuitively as believers?

I'll Take Care Of It!"

A common denominator in parenting, marriage and leadership is that situations arise and we simply respond, “I’ll take care of it.” Usually when these words come out of our mouths it is an attempt to make someone feel better or we just find it easier to do it ourselves. I think both of those are true for me.

The past six months God allowed me the opportunity to walk through a health situation I could not fix, and it's made me crazy! Jackie wanted to help and there was nothing she could do. The elders tried to help me but there was nothing they could do. The staff broke my door down to help me but there was nothing to “take care of.” This past Monday, my surgeon said, "I'm concerned you are not healing properly...two weeks of bed-rest!" In the trip back from Dallas I had to face...I CAN'T FIX THIS. I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THIS.

In 2 Kings 4 there is a story of a woman who lost her husband, lost her money, and was about to lose her kids to debtors. She did not see any way out! She did not know how to “take care of it”, but God showed up and performed a miracle. He took a situation full of trouble and turned it into a moment of glory.

God allows us moments in our lives that we can not fix, so that He can prove He is God. In every situation God is able, but we have to stop long enough to give Him time to respond. Sometimes the best thing for us is to be at the end of our rope where we will allow God the room to move. Simply put, there are some things in our lives that we can’t fix, so get out of the way and let God be God.